You can't calm the storm ... so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass. ~ Timber Hawkeyel
by Danah
Had I written this yesterday, I would have said, “screw it, I got nothing, there is no balance,” but today I’ve accomplished more in one day than I have in a week. Those are my two speeds - Oscar the Grouch in a dumpster fire or Mary “freaking” Poppins. There's not much in between these days.
Everything is Temporary
Recently, I had my second baby, which makes me a Mom of 2 under 2. Now... add a pandemic, postpartum hormone surges and dips, and just the every day navigation of life. It feels like one big crazy roller coaster that sometimes I just don’t want to be on. I had to reflect a little bit after my comeback from yesterday when I was literally sitting on the floor praying the baby would stop crying and for me to muster up enough energy to pick her up and walk her around until she was content again.
What I came up with was this simple concept: The present moment is temporary. Always. Temporary. The next minute, hour, day, week, month WILL be different. Maybe not better but different. Something that really helped was, first and foremost, sleep. Whether you are a new mom, battling anxiety, off your typical routine, or just a night owl, sleep is so important and sometimes so elusive. Figuring out how to get a few extra or just enough Z's can go a long way.
Practice Being Present
Another important component I find helpful in making it through those challenging times, is to practice being present when times are tough. That is, when we are angry, sad, frustrated, or whatever you want to label it. Being present during these times is important for two reasons. First, in recognizing where you are physically, and separating the feeling from who you are. For example: Not “I am angry”, instead it's “I am feeling anger.” The second part is trying to find triggers or setting events that might lead or have led to feeling that way and challenging yourself to choose a different outcome. It may or may not work, but that is why it is “practice”. I believe by practicing using these concepts as coping tools, we become more graceful in the swinging pendulum of emotion that so often accompanies us in challenging times.
