by Danah
Always trust your gut. It knows what your head hasn't yet figured out! ~ Pankaj Singh Rajput
Fate, kismet, universal connected energy, whatever you want to call it. We don't all believe in it all the time, but maybe we should, especially when the signs are right in front of our face.
Sometimes It Just Hits You
After a very busy start to the year, I had been trying convince my brain that March was going to be a very slow month. A month to give myself some reprieve and to take each day for what it is, especially at work. But the stubborn drive in me was a little harder to convince and my brain just didn't want to listen. Like a train on a track, instead of slowing down, I figured out how to make use of every minute of every day.
Well, the signs were there - my kids had been sick and I started not feeling well, but since it wasn't COVID I just pumped myself with all the good stuff, slapped on a mask, and kept moving. It was a Thursday and the kids were off to grandmas. I wasn't feeling the best and I knew I should rest... but the guilt for taking some time for myself, since I was still able to stand upright, kicked in and my brain convinced my body to get up and go to work. And then WHACK! It hit me, no really, it hit me. I was hit by another driver while at a red light. A sitting duck.
Slowing Down Isn't Always Easy
Now was it the universe? Maybe. I like to think so. Even though it was unkind to second guess myself, I guess I already knew I shouldn't have left the house. Now I’m being forced to slow down. For someone who is used to being "on" 95% of the time, slowing down is not easy. I have definitely noticed some frustration and anger bubbling up at times when I'm interacting with others. But I have had to remind myself where the anger is coming from and to have compassion for others. I have had to remember the type of compassion that I would want if it was me or when it was me.
The Wisdom of Your Inner Voice
Thinking about compassion for others has helped me circle back to having compassion for myself when I need it and the anxiety that I feel when I’m not producing high levels of work. We all need to remember to have compassion for ourselves when our inner voice says to take it easy. It can be difficult. Especially for those fellow perfectionists out there or those who are just used to going 1,000,000 miles a minute.
Take your time. Stay present. Read the signs. Listen to the universe. Trust your gut. Your inner voice is wiser than you give it credit for.
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